How Long Will It Take A Producer To Get Back To You?

You finally got a meeting with hot Producer to pitch your script.  The Producer tells you that the idea is great and if you send the script over, it will be read “right away.”

The script is FedEx’d that afternoon.  So, how long will it take hot Producer to get back to you?

Let this serve as a handy guide.

1. First, figure out the longest time any person of slightly below average intelligence would take to read your script.
2. Now double it.
3. Then add a week because the producer’s kid is sick.
4. Next add three days for an unidentified “crisis.”
5. Add another week because the Producer has caught whatever illness his kid had.
6. Another four days because Angry Birds Seasons released a new level pack.
7. One day more because of a minor Jewish holiday (Note: it does not matter if Producer is Jewish).
8. Add five more days due to the Producer’s attendance at the Sheboygan Film Festival.
9. A two and a half day increase because the new IPhone (or IPad) came out.
10. Awards Season has started – 45 days more.
11. Two more weeks because of Sundance (Producer is not going to Sundance, but still).

Finally, you call Producer to see what the status is.  You are told your script is on top of the pile and will be read “right away.”

Repeat from Step #1.